Until and unless men can pass a basketball through their urethra there is no comparison. In tennis that’s called game, set, match (h/t to Billie Jean King) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not sure it was a quote, I was referring to the way she took Riggs down in the Battle of the Sexes, but I realize now the hat tip does refer to a quote. Sorry 😂
We don’t need to prove we’re as good or better than anyone. That particular goal is rooted in one-upManship or dominance, which is a singular value that drives male status, self-respect and power.
Competition for first place is not the sole motivation for achieving excellence in the world of females. We get there by love of the pursuit itself. Love of collaboration. Of beauty. Of discovery. Of the work. Of personal best. Of justice. Of self-expression. Of caring about something greater than ourselves. Competing and winning a contest is fun, but not the end game. Our ultimate rewards are found in places in the psyche beyond “Alpha.” Alysa’s was Joy.
I think that’s just it—we need to stop playing by rules that were never meant for us, they’ve only contained us instead of letting us soar. But that’s not easy to do—heck, I have trouble with it at times and I write about this for a living. I think many women do this on an individual basis, who are able to transcend the bullshit and live a life totally outside the boundaries of this bullshit patriarchal white supremacist machine we’re in, and some manage to do it in communities of like-minded women, but how do we do it en masse? I think it’s a step toward the answer, I guess I’m still in the labeling the problem portion of the solution for now ;-). Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
Archaeology used to be a field dominated by women. Computing: women. Weaving: women. Cooking: women. But men saw there was treasure to be found and money to be made and fame to be had. So they pushed women out of fields they pioneered. Now when men cook, they are chefs. When men paint, it’s Art—not a “hobby.”
There is a whole essay worth in this comment. I have a particular bee in my bonnet about how when men create its art and when women do, it’s “crafts” and one of those for sure valued more than the other.
One of the ways I explain this to people, usually men, is to use the example of clothing. It used to be illegal for women to dress like men and men to dress like women. Illegal. Then, it was just socially unacceptable. Now, women can wear men’s clothing. Perfectly acceptable. In fact, in business settings, the suit is standard. Sure, women can still wear the suit jacket with a skirt, but totally fine with pants too. But, the reverse, a man wearing a suit with a skirt, is absolutely not ok. At all. Not only is it not socially acceptable. It’s ridiculous, laughable. No self respecting man would even entertain the thought. He wouldn’t be taken seriously. It’s downright shameful. Think about that for a moment. Really think about it because it says EVERYTHING about who is valued and who isn’t in our society. It’s right there in plain sight in what we’re wearing every day.
Yes, clothing is another excellent example. Language is another—it took a while, but we managed to ditch the phrase “tomboy” for a young girl who dressed in pants/clothing that society considered non-feminine. We haven’t managed to do the same for boys who like to dress is clothing that some consider less masculine. They’re still called derogatory names that liken them to either girls, or queer men. All for clothes, which are totally arbitrary and made up!
Yes, I was thinking about language too. One of the worst insults boys/man can be called is a girl or a bitch. I call my men friends out on it all the time whenever they say to one another “don’t be a bitch,” in front of me. I’m like, “Right, because what could be worse than being a woman?”
Hi Dina, wonderful to highlight the irony; we've succeeded anyway.
My oldest daughter was a circus performer. She had a male coach for a while who truly abused her to meet a standard. She was doing fine. She would not report him, but I did. Amazing how women think "it was/is for my own good."
We keep comparing ourselves to a yardstick that was never meant for us.
"Men created that yardstick, and women will never measure up." Only in their eyes and those who still believe their lies.
Oh, I’m sorry your oldest had to experience that, and I’m glad she had you in her corner and on her team. It’s so hard not to compare ourselves to that yardstick because there isn’t another one. I suppose the real trick is not to measure at all (someone else said something similar, I think), but that’s hard too, because it’s all we’ve known.
Meanwhile they’re arranging the death penalty for women who get abortions. This wasn’t just locker room yuk yuk - it was designed to undercut all women.
We are the champions! We show it time and time again. We are the stronger sex because Nature intended it that way. We give birth. We are endowed by our creator with the strength to bring forth life. I've never believed in penis envy, but womb envy is real. Look at all they do to control our wombs. I simply love being a woman. Too bad, so sad, they will never know. Well, unless they drop all their shit and just love us. Really love us... all the way to worship. I think that's what they are truly afraid of. If they allowed themselves to love us, they'd lost themsleves to worship.
Love, love, love. And let's also mention the inequality in money earned in sports. I'm not saying women should be paid as much as men. I'm saying men get paid WAY TOO MUCH. The money is obscene. Men in sports are treated like crap too, but owners, sponsors. They're treated like property. Their bodies get ruined. I can't believe I'm speaking up for men here, but competition is toxic to me. I saw your comment about the BJK quote. Here's another one:
“Men and boys will accept you more easily when you excel at something they value.” BJK from her autobio.
I don't think that's true at all. I don't care about being "accepted" by men. I care about women accepting ourselves and each other. I care about men respecting women. That's a whole other conversation, isn't it?
Until and unless men can pass a basketball through their urethra there is no comparison. In tennis that’s called game, set, match (h/t to Billie Jean King) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I felt like going down the whole birth route (canal?) was too easy a shot, I like a challenge. Great BJK quote!
But clearly not as funny as I thought it was. My wife points that out for me pretty regularly 🧐
Thanks for your sense of humor, Just Another! xo
Nan, I was merely pointing out that woman is capable of stuff no man will ever be able to do. It was meant as comedy, not literal
Good. I was just checking. there are lot of men who haven't a clue about women's anatomy. Phew! xo
Not sure it was a quote, I was referring to the way she took Riggs down in the Battle of the Sexes, but I realize now the hat tip does refer to a quote. Sorry 😂
Wha? I'm confused. We don't push babies through our urethras. Am I missing something?
Confession: I did not check to see if that quote was real, misquoted, or even by BJK…
It's the closest they've got.
Ah! Now I get it. Thank you. xo.
We don’t need to prove we’re as good or better than anyone. That particular goal is rooted in one-upManship or dominance, which is a singular value that drives male status, self-respect and power.
Competition for first place is not the sole motivation for achieving excellence in the world of females. We get there by love of the pursuit itself. Love of collaboration. Of beauty. Of discovery. Of the work. Of personal best. Of justice. Of self-expression. Of caring about something greater than ourselves. Competing and winning a contest is fun, but not the end game. Our ultimate rewards are found in places in the psyche beyond “Alpha.” Alysa’s was Joy.
I think that’s just it—we need to stop playing by rules that were never meant for us, they’ve only contained us instead of letting us soar. But that’s not easy to do—heck, I have trouble with it at times and I write about this for a living. I think many women do this on an individual basis, who are able to transcend the bullshit and live a life totally outside the boundaries of this bullshit patriarchal white supremacist machine we’re in, and some manage to do it in communities of like-minded women, but how do we do it en masse? I think it’s a step toward the answer, I guess I’m still in the labeling the problem portion of the solution for now ;-). Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
The distinction is simple, culturally ingrained from birth. A birthright of sorts.
Females are taught to always be good enough. Males, to always be better than.
Everything develops from those aspirational bases.
Archaeology used to be a field dominated by women. Computing: women. Weaving: women. Cooking: women. But men saw there was treasure to be found and money to be made and fame to be had. So they pushed women out of fields they pioneered. Now when men cook, they are chefs. When men paint, it’s Art—not a “hobby.”
There is a whole essay worth in this comment. I have a particular bee in my bonnet about how when men create its art and when women do, it’s “crafts” and one of those for sure valued more than the other.
Exactly!
By all means, write this one, too. Composing that note was about all the rise in blood pressure that my body can take at the moment.
One of the ways I explain this to people, usually men, is to use the example of clothing. It used to be illegal for women to dress like men and men to dress like women. Illegal. Then, it was just socially unacceptable. Now, women can wear men’s clothing. Perfectly acceptable. In fact, in business settings, the suit is standard. Sure, women can still wear the suit jacket with a skirt, but totally fine with pants too. But, the reverse, a man wearing a suit with a skirt, is absolutely not ok. At all. Not only is it not socially acceptable. It’s ridiculous, laughable. No self respecting man would even entertain the thought. He wouldn’t be taken seriously. It’s downright shameful. Think about that for a moment. Really think about it because it says EVERYTHING about who is valued and who isn’t in our society. It’s right there in plain sight in what we’re wearing every day.
Yes, clothing is another excellent example. Language is another—it took a while, but we managed to ditch the phrase “tomboy” for a young girl who dressed in pants/clothing that society considered non-feminine. We haven’t managed to do the same for boys who like to dress is clothing that some consider less masculine. They’re still called derogatory names that liken them to either girls, or queer men. All for clothes, which are totally arbitrary and made up!
Yes, I was thinking about language too. One of the worst insults boys/man can be called is a girl or a bitch. I call my men friends out on it all the time whenever they say to one another “don’t be a bitch,” in front of me. I’m like, “Right, because what could be worse than being a woman?”
Hi Dina, wonderful to highlight the irony; we've succeeded anyway.
My oldest daughter was a circus performer. She had a male coach for a while who truly abused her to meet a standard. She was doing fine. She would not report him, but I did. Amazing how women think "it was/is for my own good."
We keep comparing ourselves to a yardstick that was never meant for us.
"Men created that yardstick, and women will never measure up." Only in their eyes and those who still believe their lies.
Thank you!
Oh, I’m sorry your oldest had to experience that, and I’m glad she had you in her corner and on her team. It’s so hard not to compare ourselves to that yardstick because there isn’t another one. I suppose the real trick is not to measure at all (someone else said something similar, I think), but that’s hard too, because it’s all we’ve known.
Meanwhile they’re arranging the death penalty for women who get abortions. This wasn’t just locker room yuk yuk - it was designed to undercut all women.
This was good, and speaks to that very thing
https://substack.com/home/post/p-189268633
Thank you. She described the underlying misogyny well. There’s a million different angles on this and I appreciated both yours and Joann’s takes.
We are the champions! We show it time and time again. We are the stronger sex because Nature intended it that way. We give birth. We are endowed by our creator with the strength to bring forth life. I've never believed in penis envy, but womb envy is real. Look at all they do to control our wombs. I simply love being a woman. Too bad, so sad, they will never know. Well, unless they drop all their shit and just love us. Really love us... all the way to worship. I think that's what they are truly afraid of. If they allowed themselves to love us, they'd lost themsleves to worship.
Love, love, love. And let's also mention the inequality in money earned in sports. I'm not saying women should be paid as much as men. I'm saying men get paid WAY TOO MUCH. The money is obscene. Men in sports are treated like crap too, but owners, sponsors. They're treated like property. Their bodies get ruined. I can't believe I'm speaking up for men here, but competition is toxic to me. I saw your comment about the BJK quote. Here's another one:
“Men and boys will accept you more easily when you excel at something they value.” BJK from her autobio.
I don't think that's true at all. I don't care about being "accepted" by men. I care about women accepting ourselves and each other. I care about men respecting women. That's a whole other conversation, isn't it?
Hive mind!!